What's going on, Kotaku? Hello and welcome to the first installment of Ask Dr. Normandin geek datingan advice column specifically for your geeky relationship issues. To kick things off, this week we're going to talk a little about getting the results you want from online dating. I'm a video game programmer, and general nerd, and I've come to the age where I would like to get a girlfriend. My industry and social circles are not very abundant with potential dates, so I've turned to Match.
However, after using it for six months PaidI've heard nothing from anyone, and every message I've sent has been ignored. I think my profile is fine, as I don't go out of my way to geek normandin geek dating about any one thing, and I don't try to paint myself as someone I'm not either. I have some trouble trying to figure out what to put in the messages I've sent, so I've tried everything from long and specific messages to simple "Hey, how was your day?
I'm not overweight I'm actually normandin geek dating and I'm not ugly, so I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing wrong. Online Dating Newbie. There are a metric ton of reasons why women don't respond to a dating site email, but the most common is that your message - or your profile - didn't intrigue her normandin geek dating to want to reply Let's start with messages.
Women get deluged with messages - often rife with "creative" approaches to spelling and creepy sexual come-ons - which means that you need normandin geek dating make yours shine. If you can't catch and hold normandin geek dating attention right off the bat, then you're going to get passed over like Brussels sprouts at a Golden Corral buffet. Most emails either go too long and ramble or normandin geek dating just "hi i like ur face.
It's very simple, with no more than two lines per section. This makes it lean, mean and - critically - more interesting than the usual "'sup biznatch? You start with a greeting. Normandin geek dating, I like "Hey, you seem like you're cool, and I wanted to say 'hi,'" but you should have one that matches your personality.
Next, bring up something from her profile that caught your attention: "I noticed that you're a fan of retro video games and built your own MAME cabinet… that's awesome! Make sure it's something that can actually spur a conversation, not normandin geek dating question that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no. Tip: Don't challenge her to prove something, especially if she's into geeky stuff and definitely don't try to neg her with a left-handed compliment.
It's a stupid PUA trick that not only doesn't work but will actively piss women off. Normandin geek dating best, you'll get your email tossed in the trash. At worst, you end up as a new post on a "Creepy Guys of Online Dating" tumblr. With all that said, it doesn't matter if you've got Cyrano De Bergerac writing your messages if your profile is a mess. First: Audit your photos. Most dating sites will send a thumbnail of your primary photo with your message.
This can make the difference between her clicking through to check your profile or skipping to the next bachelor on the list. It's vitally important that you use a photo that makes the right impression.
Your main profile photo should be a clear shot of you by yourself—preferably a headshot—on a clean normandin geek dating solid background.
It also helps to be wearing something with a bright splash of color to normandin geek dating your thumbnail stand out from the crowd. Your normandin geek dating photos should be the ones that make you look like you're fun to be with. Include at least one full body shot. And absolutely no "check these abs" selfies.
Seriously, they make you look like a douchebag. Second: You want to purge your profile of anything that will turn women away. Imagine you work for an advertising firm.
You don't sell chips by saying "They're decent enough, I guess. You sell it by making people think about how awesome their life would be if they had it. When you're writing an online dating profile, you're advertising yourself, and nobody is going to buy a product that can barely tolerate its own existence.
If you're full of negativity, bitterness or normandin geek dating entitled attitude, women will hit the back button so fast that time will warp.
Even self-deprecating humor is going to read as "thanks for noticing a loser like me," so toss it. And there should never be any references to your sexin' skills, cunnilingus, cock size, or your skill at full-body rubdowns. Not only will nobody believe you or want to find out if it's truebut it's goddamn creepy.
There is nothing that will make the normandin geek dating of sex disappear in a cloud of sulfur and loneliness faster than talking about how much you love going down in your profile. When in doubt, check this handy normandin geek dating of common online dating mistakes.
Normandin geek dating you're doing anything normandin geek dating that list, you need to change it immediately. Third: You want to practice good dating search optimization. Most dating sites let you narrow normandin geek dating searches to more than just height, weight, body type and location. They're in normandin geek dating business of helping you find the red-headed Pastafarian opera singer of your dreams, so it's in their interest to let you be as specific as possible.
As a result, most sites will let you search for keywords. This is where the dating search optimization comes in: You want to make sure that those desirable keywords appear prominently in your dating profile. If, for example, you're hoping to date a fellow gamer, you want them to be able to find youright? Think about the sort of people you want to date.
What are they normandin geek dating to be looking for? What search terms are they likely to be using? Those are your keywords.
If you're not sure which ones to use, do your research: Check out the profiles of people normandin geek dating attracted to. See where their interests lie and make sure that you have an easily identifiable reference in your profile too.
Just remember: these are examples. You want to make sure that you're listing interests you actually have, not laying bait for one specific person. If you lie about your mutual interest in manatee breeding, she's going to be pretty pissed when she starts talking shop on the normandin geek dating date and you can't follow along.
Last but not least: you need to remember to show, not tell. If you're funny, don't just say "I'm funny," let normandin geek dating wit shine through your profile.
If you're athletic or adventurous, have profile photos that show you playing soccer or visiting Praya Kahn. If you're a geek and looking to date other geeks, drop a few geek references in.
Mention your love of Assassin's Creed or your zombie apocalypse plan. When in doubt, just remember: Normandin geek dating selling a product to others. Make sure that you're making your advertising as clear and as enticing as possible and you'll have much more success. If you have online dating stories of your own to share, let's hear about them in the comments. And we'll see you in two weeks with more of your dating questions! Ask Dr. Got a question you'd like answered?
Write doc doctornerdlove. Man, woman, single, married, he's got advice for everyone. Harris O'Malley is a writer and dating coach who provides geek dating advice at normandin geek dating blog Paging Dr. NerdLove and the Dr. NerdLove podcast. He is also a regular guest at One Of Us.
Nerdlove is not really a doctor. The A. Gaming Reviews, News, Tips and More. By Harris O'Malley. Published January 15, Hey Doc, I'm a video game programmer, and general nerd, and I've come to the age where I would like to get a girlfriend.
Online Dating Newbie Watch. Off English. Share this Video. Facebook Twitter Email. Reddit Link. Show all comments. Continue reading.
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Read the full eharmony review. Within a matter of minutes, you can sign up with DateMyAge and begin to connect with a wide spectrum of mature individuals. DateMyAge is an expensive option for mature dating over That said, it does provide you with a global dating pool, matching users around the world, making it a great option for seniors looking to mix it up and connect with individuals they have yet to meet in their lifetime.
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